Author Archive
CABIN SESSIONS 2010
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Posted by jchaseinyoface
FROM THE WOODS POKING OUT OF BIG BEAR CAME A
CANDID COLLECTION OF LIVE SONGS FROM SYNC MEMBERS:
TIN SANTOS
JULIA MCALEE
JOHANNA CHASE
MC DRAPPERIES
NELSON
POET JOHN PAUL
FREE DOWNLOADS HERE:
www.synchronicityla.com/cabinsessions2010
Tags: jchaseinyoface
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evangelical crack, or the balance
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
Posted by jchaseinyoface
I have now entered the young to old adult tradition of constant annoyance with my work and non-work imbalance. The dubbing of this tradition has been assumed, as I am not sure yet how to fix this imbalance. I was taught to live a life of constant meaning-making, belief and positive thinking, though it wasn’t named after any of those non-Christian terms. I remember starting my day with prayers that sealed the pain I felt from life’s up and downs in a small place inside my heart that was hardly ever given attention. My prayers, mainly consisting of hope, positive expectation and certainty, were the centerfold of my evangelical reflection; also the base of my ignorance of politics, psychological health and social blind-sided-ness. It’s not like this for everyone and though I have a multitude of friends who have experienced this centerfold dilemma, either in their personal history or current beliefs, but the inner workings of the Christian Evangelical life that I led, had me thinking positive, confident, and certain. In time I found this unsustainable.
I have left the practices and culture of the American Christian Evangelical church (”non-denominational”: though that does not accurately regard where my childhood church was started, initially funded, or legally affiliated) for so many reasons. The first part of my transition to my current spiritual/economical/political practice happened when I moved to college. In southern California I did not have the same people, church, or reputation; what I later learned to call my identity. In my past no one talked about personal identity as a changeable or tangible social construction, rather it was poetically drafted into the New International Version of the Bible and various mysterious stories about people’s personal lives and the changes that occurred when that individual had responded or been a recipient of a supernatural interaction, however normal or abnormal it might be (I experienced many of these mysteries). Thus began my conquest and enrapturing experience of academia, feminism, bi-sexuality, art, Christian organizations, churches, biblical studies, independence, and activism. When I realized that the identity I found most honest and most personally connected to no longer fit the Evangelical mold, I was slowly and naturally phasing out of those circles and networks as a professional. I mean, I was going to be working at an Evangelical Christian institution for the rest of my life until just a couple years ago. Now I have left that work to some friends and some folks who I hope to shake off like dust from my sandals – some of them, I will see again, as life so unravels, and I will stretch my fabric to intertwine with forgiveness if I have the strength.
Now, as a woman, tied to her heart and mind, I find myself sinking into the negativity of the secular institution. A slave to sloth and financial insecurity, my heart and mind sometimes morph into the wheel of fortune and time ticks away on pegs of different calculations and theoretical options for my adult profession and way of life. I used to rely so heavily on the time tables of school and church activity. These days my months are both short and long and this whole last year a trial at living without any system but the one that I create. And my emotional solitude so easily cramped in between different productions and going somewhere. I have all this space to balance all that I desire and yet I have found my former evangelical love affair a habit that my dependancy and identity became entwined with and still crave. It was almost like a crack addiction: now I have to create a new lifestyle, equipped with all the positives of my past while reinforcing my identity as the woman who is aware of her economical, spiritual, emotional and sexual self. And somehow as an adult you figure out how to balance all of that simultaneously with a job? To all of you adults out there, I put it to you for getting through the times of imbalance and professional exploration. I believe things will change, but also know that it is important to embrace the now and be cool with it, “Don’t stress. Shit happens.” My theological training is a lot less articulated these days, but maybe that’s part of the balance.
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you to the who who who
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
Posted by jchaseinyoface
oh yea music makers in the pit
prepare to play yo music
whatever it is.
happy mothers day!
Posted in Sprout's Miscellaneous Bag of Tricks, Written Art | No Comments »
